onsdag 9 september 2009

This may seem a little bit complicated, but it’s not that hard actually.

One year ago my boyfriend cheated on me with another girl on a party, but he didn’t tell me, he’s best friend told me. Anyway, I met another boy on the Internet, and I just forgot all about my ex. I was very depressed cause lots of things had happened on very short time. But this guy made me feel like myself again. We talked for hours on one day, and every night we stayed up until five on the morning. The day before I went to USA he told me he loved me. I was so happy, and all I could think of was him. The months passed by, and suddenly he’s Friends started to tell me things like “he doesn’t care about you”. I didn’t know Who to trust anymore. I asked him about it, and we had our first argue. (About that I didn’t trust him.) But after a while everything got back to “the usual”. In May I heard from a girl that they were dating. (She added me on msn, I didn’t know anything about it cause he had told me he loved me the same day as she wrote to me.) I was staring at the computer and didn’t know what to say or what to do. Suddenly she asked me “Do you think he take me seriously?” I told her the troth and wrote back “Yes, I think he does…” Some days later he wrote to me on msn, he was very angry and told me that they weren’t together, and that it was my fault that she had ditched him. I couldn’t believe what he wrote. I wrote back all I’d told her, but he wouldn’t believe me. We argued, again, and after some weeks we were friends again, and told each other “I love you” but than I did a really bad thing… On Sweden rock festival I camped whit two of he’s Friends, and I get along great with them. But one of them I liked a little bit more than as just a friend. But he had a girlfriend so I gave it up. The guy I’d known for almost a year got angry cause I got along with his friends so good. Because of that I and the boy I camped with broke the contact with each other, but it didn’t help my “relationship” with “Gustav”. (I don’t use he’s real name.) It was just getting worse. He didn’t answer any of my e-mails, phone calls or my texts on msn/picture diary. I got tired of it, and the boy from Sweden rock and I started to talk again. No he was single he told me and he wondered if it was ok if he came down to visit me. Ok I thought, we are good friends. A month ago now he came down to me, hand we became girlfriend and boyfriend. He stayed at my place for a few days, than I went home with him. (He lives 18 mil from me…) I slept over with my friend Emelie for three days, and I got a text messenger from the guy with the words “I’m sorry, this isn’t working out, you live too far away from me, and I’m not ready for a new relationship yet. I got sad, he had known for almost a year where I live. We broke the contact, again, cause I couldn’t stand just being he’s Friend. Two days after I got the messenger I heard that he had a new girlfriend. I didn’t know what to do, so I stayed inside my room for a week, I didn’t talk to anyone. The only one I would talk to wouldn’t speak to me. Gustav. I still didn’t answer my texts, calls or anything. He wasn’t just a little “crush”, he was also my best friend, and I really loved him. One day I wrote angry to him and asked why he wouldn’t speak to me, and he actually answered. “I’m sick of you. My friends? How could you? You are so out of my life now girl!” I got angry and sad and wrote down everything that had happened, but he wouldn’t believe me, so he said “So this is all my fault now? But of course, it always is. This ship has sailed, and it won’t come back, ever.” And then he stopped answering me. I really don’t know what to do cause it can’t get him out of my minds, and it’s really annoying. I know it’s my fault as much as it’s he’s, but I forgave him for the things that happened with the girl in May and lots of other things I haven’t wrote down. I’m so sick and tired of always having him in my minds, I really just want to forget him and all he’s words. What should I do? Please someone come up with an answer cause I really can’t stand this anymore. I miss him!

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